The Toddler Guide to Throwing Tantrums

1. Tantrums are useful for getting your point across, especially in public places. Which point? Anything that makes you upset: hunger, thirst, feeling tired, boredom, dropping Mommy's keys in the back of the cart and nobody noticing, not getting that balloon by the greeting card section and it gets farther and farther away.

2. Learn to tantrum as soon as you learn to walk. Wobbliness helps with the dramatic display and brings someone to you very quickly because they don't want you to fall and hurt yourself.

3. A word on falling: do it carefully. Avoid things like tile floors, concrete, stairs, baseboards, toilets, bathtubs, stools, edges of beds or sofas. Those are hard objects and they hurt when you smash into them.

4. Good surfaces for tantrums include carpet floors, piles of dirty laundry, soft bedding and Daddy's tummy.

5. Proper technique is key. Start with a pouty lip and loud cry. Drop your head to the floor (remember to put out your hands or you end up with a goosegg on your forehead), then swing your hips and roll onto the floor, letting your shoulder and your diaper absorb the impact. Close your eyes and wail. Scream out all your air and gasp for breath. Usually by this time someone is trying to pick you up, so let all your muscles go limp and flop backwards. If the item you want is not being wiggled in front of your face, wail again. Repeat until you are bored or an acceptable alternative is offered.

6. Effective complementary techniques at getting what you want: go quiet for a moment and narrow your eyes at the person closest to you, giving them an extreme feeling of guilt; go find a sibling or grandparent to retrieve what you want; remember where the item is and later learn to climb to reach it.

7. Lastly, remember that even though you're the baby, you are still "da boss."

What you find when the baby has been quiet for three minutes...

Grrrr, I'm an Ogre!

Shrek baby hat:



He looks adorable in it, but he won't model it! He will only keep it on his head if his ears are cold. His real ears, not the Shrek ones.

At least I am good at something...

70 words

Speedtest

I took the Wardrobe Refashion Pledge

The Pledge

I, The Incompetent Homemaker, pledge that I shall abstain from the purchase of "new" manufactured items of clothing, for the period of 2 months. I pledge that i shall refashion, renovate, recycle preloved items for myself with my own hands in fabric, yarn or other medium for the term of my contract. I pledge that I will share the love and post a photo of my refashioned, renovoted, recycled, crafted or created item of clothing on the Wardrobe Refashion blog, so that others may share the joy that thy thriftiness brings! Signed, The Incompetent Homemaker.

Come see my first refashion!

Camera Case

I made this camera case for my new 8.0MP Samsung compact camera that Santa brought me. (Lucky me!)

I didn't want another bulky case, because I want to keep this camera in my purse, but I didn't want to just drop the camera in those dangerous waters either. So I picked up some scrap fleece that was lying around here and whipped up this little case. The fleece is double-layered inside, with only the sides sewn together, so the inner, smaller square creates two pockets that I use for storing batteries. Two layers of soft fleece provide just enough padding for my needs. I also made a similar case with three layers for my 8-year-old's new camera, which makes her case bulkier but safer.

I leave the strap out for ease of carrying the camera. These are so quick and easy, I just might make more of them for gifts or craft swap.

Happy New (and Thrifty) Year!

January first. The perfect day to go to... Goodwill! Why? Because it's open and it's Dollar Day!

I felt inspired to pick up some new clothes for my new size and the new year. I found three pairs of pants and four shirts for a dollar each. And... this handmade skirt for a buck.

It's an interesting skirt. It's a wraparound skirt, with a buttonhole on the waistband for one strap to fit through and ties in the front. The color in the photo is a bit off, but it's a pretty salmon color, with a white butterfly-and-riverbank pattern on the front panel. The other two panels are the same solid salmon color. It fits nicely, so I might copy it for other skirts!

The sewing is very well done. You can tell a lot of care went into creating this skirt. I always wonder why people get rid of handmade items that were crafted with such love and care (there are always tons of afgans in the thrift stores and not all ugly).

I was originally looking for offbeat clothing items to re-do, but I think this skirt should stay as it is. Now I just need to figure out which top to wear with it.

Win a beautiful Ergo!

I have become a bit obsessed lately over baby carriers, spending way too much time scouring the for sale or trade boards on The Baby Wearer website. I have a couple of lovelies coming my way soon, which I will share with you when they arrive. I also have plans to try to make my own DIY carrier... as the Incompetent Homemaker, I'm sure there will be lots of mistakes to tell you about!

In the meantime, I had to enter this contest for a beautiful organic Ergo. I don't have one of these, but I wouldn't mind winning this one. No, I wouldn't mind at all!

Win a Free Organic Embroidered Ergo Baby Carrier Hands Free System
from Along for the Ride

Gah! Clothesline tips over into the swimming pool

...with half my diapers on it!

Imagine the scene... it's a beautiful, hot first day of fall in sunny Arizona. I'm hanging diapers on the line and feel a nice cool breeze float by. It's one of those breezes to appreciate, because it's whispering, "Fall is here, can't you feel it?" The breeze decided to play a trick on me, and took my clothesline right over, right into the swimming pool, dunking all the diapers that I had just hung as I was working my way around the line.

I turned and saw it tip, as if in slow motion, with my outstretched arms too short and too slow to catch the pole. The clothespin bag was inverted and they had started to sink by the time I was able to drag the whole thing up and out.

The dipes are all on the ground in the pic b/c I had to rush around the sides releasing them so they wouldn't pull the whole thing over again. I just opened the pins and let the diapers fall. The casualties are back in the wash right now, the rest that were in the basket are hung (evenly and on the inside lines), drying in the sun like they are all supposed to.

I know what you're all going to say: Space them out. Hang all around. Use the inside lines. Yeah, I know. It was actually pretty funny. So I thought I give you all a chuckle and share.

(Please ignore all the weeds in backyard. It's a jungle back there.)

C(razy) V(erifiable) S(avings)

I am addicted. To CVS.

Yes, the pharmacy. I've just discovered an insane, obsessed cult of crazed penny-pinchers that shop at CVS for pennies on the dollar. And I've joined them.

Recent conquests:

8/22/2008
Spent $3.85
Saved $12.29
Would have been $16.14
76% off

8/22/2008
Spent $7.47
Saved $20.79
Would have been $28.26
74% off

8/25/2008
Spent $5.12
Saved $ 31.09
Would have been $36.21
86% off

8/26/2008
Spent $10.60
Saved $19.00
Would have been $29.60
64% off

8/27/2008
Spent $0.94
Saved $23.56
Would have been $24.50
96% OFF!!!!

I've got it all entered into a spreadsheet. That's how nuts this is. I'm getting stuff nearly for free after coupons and Extra Bucks. And not crap either -- name brand toothpaste, lotion, diapers, batteries, pantyliners, ibuprofen, hair care, the list goes on. Stuff we use.

Get started here. Follow along here. These ladies plan out your shopping for you!

Let me know if you get hooked too. We can swap coupons.